Brando's Quiet Desk

Sophia's Birthday

2012-02-08T10:49:00.002-09:00

I am not a perfect father. I could do more of this or more of that. However, I think I do a good job. My wife does a lot with her and spends most of the day with her since we've been blessed that she can keep her at work. With that being said, I can't take a lot of credit but I can tell I do a good job just by the way she smiles and laughs. She is one of the happier toddlers I've ever seen and enjoys her life. I look forward to every day with her.

Her birthday is coming up and I've gotten her a bunch of things that I know she will like. Our system works out well, I pick out and buy the presents and Julie wraps them - what a team! She had a big birthday party last year but I think this year it will be a bit low key. She enjoyed herself last time but her birthday falls on a weekday this year and I think she will still enjoy herself all the same, without having a cramped apartment filled with people.

I think this year she'll be much more inclined to do damage to her cake. Previously we got a big red velvet cake and got her an identical cup cake that she could do whatever with. She munched and played with it. Dropped it and laughed. Picked it up and got it all over her face. But that was at 1 and now she'll be two - DOUBLE the experience. I imagine she'll have more fun this time around.

2012-01-31T17:10:00.001-09:00

Como o senhor está?

Kids Things

2012-01-30T13:26:00.005-09:00

Sometimes I look at my daughter and see parts of me there in her face and profile. Sometimes in what she does, there's that bit of me standing out as if saying: Hey Pops! Other days I can see she has more of her mother going on with her. It's sometimes strange to think of how she came about, that one day she'll be an adult and think the same thoughts as I do when she looks at her children.

She's quite fascinated by technology, just as myself and my dad are. If it lights up, has a button, switch or something similar, she's fiddling with it, sometimes for hours.

My hardheaded genes are something she didn't miss out on. She has plenty of those and sometimes it's rough. Mommy and Daddy think it can be a challenge but we love her all the same.

One day, she'll want to have a long conversation with me and I'll understand what she says. She already has these with me but more often than not I can only catch one or two words out of what she is saying. In my mind I bet she is thinking, I sure do wish he could understand me; as I do of her.

She is entirely fascinating to me.

schadenfreude

2012-01-30T10:26:00.002-09:00

Schadenfreude. I've seen plenty of this going around recently to be sick of it. So when I found out some things that, several years ago, would have made me dance a jig - Michael Flatley style - it didn't really do much for me. In fact, I'm a bit sad about it.

No one really deserves pain and suffering. Even the blackest heart is deserving of some kindness and mercy. I guess it's a sign of getting older, being more retrospective about life and things. Having children will change a man. Being married will too. But together, I feel like I'm morphing into something far more than the boy I once was. I'm starting to feel my age. It's a scary thing for Peter Pan to realize.

Life is a precious thing - enjoy it in every breath of air, every morsel of food, every kiss and hug and every view you take in.

Freedom is Bleeding

2011-11-29T10:49:00.001-09:00

Consider the state of freedom for a moment and you may be surprised at what has happened in the past 20 years. Being gay is accepted. Being multi-racial is okay too. Athesist? No problem. Most of the big taboo things that should have been a part of freedom but for centuries were not, have come to acceptance at last. Pull back that shiny veil of freedom that so many enjoy and you'll see the inner decay that has come to pass with freedom, mostly freedom of speech.

Nowadays, rap stars, pop artists and heavy metal maven's can screech, purr or whine about anything from drugs, sex and murder in the most explicit of fashion. Most people won't even blink at eye to this, a far cry from 20 years ago. It seems like a glorious age of self expression. Twitter, Facebook and blogs permeate our everyday lives; social media is here to stay. But when you are in the public eye and say something somewhat off color, the masses swarm to the news agencies and brand you a heretic for [insert fashionable objection here]. These are the same news agencies and people that blast "Fuck You" by Cee Lo Green and rattle on about how which ever political faction is doing this or that to curb your freedoms.

A high school girl in Kansas, Emma Sullivan, just recently posted on Twitter about how much Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback (of Kansas) sucked. It was shortly thereafter that she was reprimanded by her high school principle for over and hour and was told she had to pen an official apology. Does this sound like the land of the free and the home of the brave? Nay I say. Freedom is bleeding from a thousand wounds caused by the people who were sworn to protect it. It seems that the very thing that was a right and worth dying for is now a liability.

And just for the record, Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback and his staff, do suck.

Cleaning out the Mansion

2011-09-12T18:50:00.003-08:00

I went to lunch today and something changed, in my head at least. It wasn't a brilliant as a light coming on, wouldn't that be hysterical, but something as sudden nevertheless. I've always had an interest in far too many things for me to handle. It's something akin to OCD, "Wow, I really like that," or "Nice - let's go do this." My dad has always mentioned the Jack of Many Trades but Master of None paradigm to me many times. I've felt like the Jack of Clubs and it hasn't really been the best thing out there for me. In actuality, it's fucked up a lot of things for me. I talk about it like it's some entity with it's own thoughts and ideas. I can't really say that's the case but I'm starting to see what it's like and I'm not liking it.

So with the above being commited to paper, that's what happened today. Now what? Now, I remove myself from the schedule of having these things in my life. So I've really narrowed it down to a couple of things:

1) Family
2) Writing
3) Music

Technically, that's not a couple but I've always though of "a couple" as a handful, which seems to be the prevaling attitude in the south - I do know better.

As for the rest, I'm not even going to try to keep up with them like I have. My mind is like a mansion with many rooms and it's got too much clutter in it. Far too many rooms I don't visit that often or not at all but I still have to do the upkeep on the whole things. Seems better to have a smaller place than a rather large one.

Peter Pan Forever?

2011-09-04T13:54:00.003-08:00

At 36, I finally am feeling more like an adult; far more than I did when I became an "adult" at 21. 21 was a strange age, full of confidence and not much else. Money was almost non-existent before that age and even then it wasn't that abundant so as with anything new, let's try it out and see what it can do. Credit cards companies know this is the rite de jour for almost every newly liberated teenager, and market to college kids with a fervor. More often than not, they get sucked into having a high interest credit card and the rest, ladies and gentlemen, is as they say: history.

Being the child of mostly absent parents; movies, books and fantasy became the more listened to voice of "reason". In retrospect, I did alright. I didn't end up like most people in my class in high school, which is to say a less than stellar existence. Is that an elitist thing to say? It sure is. I wanted more out of life than to stay in a one traffic light town. For some that maybe the best thing on earth but it's not striving for something better and it sure isn't expanding your horizons. Regardless, I think I've done well with the cards I've been handed.

At 25, I got married and started off what I thought was the right thing at the right time. Wrong. At 30, I was paying for that mistake while continuing to excel at making new ones: Hooray for me! I was only just starting to really comprehend what being an adult was, funny how surviving most of the bad things life has to offer will do that to you. All of those mistakes and choices, because no one really forced them on to me (well, maybe one or two actually were), made me who I am today. If I had the impossible choice of being able to go back and do it all over again, I think I'm a moral enough person to want to choose my family over any kind of personal gain I might have been able to acquire by changing something.

So good morning 36: here I am. 37 is right around the corner and I am starting to feel that number - at least in some ways. Being Peter Pan forever sounds good to everyone who wants to live in Neverland but sooner or later it loses it's luster and you yearn to be an adult. At least that's the view from the mountain I'm standing on. I've seen generations stand where I am standing and they've all had their periods of bliss, decades of excess, years of regret and garbage heaps of credit card debt. I should fucking know fucking better. But I'm a typical white American man/boy, battling against my own stereotypes who sometimes takes himself too seriously and other times not seriously enough.

Fuck yeah.

Tee Vee

2011-08-10T10:30:00.003-08:00

So it's been a couple of weeks without cable and so far so good. The TV is still there and we watch somethings on it but it's not always on. TV has such a stigma but you can learn a lot from it and rapidly but books remain a passion of mine even though an interactive device is technically better than a physical book. It's a romantic notion that a solid book is the best way to read. It's enjoyable to me but slowly I find myself wanting get away from technology even though everyday I embrace it.

We were in Target the other day and Julie was sitting on a nice recliner like chair (minus the reclining). It made me think how much I miss having a chair like that to sit down and read in.

I picked up a copy of Pirate Latitudes by Michael Crichton. I've wanted to read it since it came out but declined since it seemed a bit short. Fred Meyer had it on sale so I picked it up. It seems a bit more into describing things rather than propelling the story forward but I'll finish it.

AM Writing

2011-08-01T13:26:00.002-08:00

There's no doubt that the early AM, creatively speaking, is the best time to write. Unfortunately, the whole groggy, didn't get enough sleep thing is an issue. Sounds like someone needs to get to sleep earlier than normal. Early needs to be the new norm.

I always hated that saying The Early Bird Gets the Worm, but you know something, it's true.

Kids

2011-07-28T11:54:00.004-08:00

Kids, you have to make sacrifices for them. No, not in offerings and setting things on fire. Rather, giving up things for their well-being or for something they need. It has to be done or else you risk putting them at a disadvantage or you end up being a bad father. To me the goal is for my kids to have things better than I did, to improve the family's station in life, even if it's by a small percentage.

I've decided to get rid of my cable and home phone (I wasn't using the latter) in order that I can pay for better things for my little girl. It's a two edged sword. One side cuts out the thing that keeps us sitting on the couch for hours during the week. The other side cuts through another bill and puts money in my pocket. But like all women, my daughter is going to need MY money. And like most guys, I have no problem giving it all up for her.

So this weekend, I killed the cable TV and upped the internet. As this point, anything we watch is mostly Netflix, which if it's in HD is a bandwidth limit killer. As with most ISP's out there, monthly limits are becoming the norm so we upped our package to 150 Gb's a month. Personally, I'd prefer not to watch much TV at all, but that sounds odd coming from my keyboard. For a long time I didn't have TV, around five years or so in college and afterwards and then in the 2000's as well. I didn't really miss it all that much but found that I liked it all too much when I did.

No matter really; I need to catch up on my writing schedule and forget the TV for the next couple of years.

Heat Wave

2011-07-20T17:24:00.005-08:00

Most of the country is in a record breaking heat wave so one might wonder if this Al Gore inspired meteorological change has affected the Great White North? Indeed it has. But not to record breaking ends. It's been around 73 degrees which may seem like heaven to most but considering the average high temperature is around 50-60's here in Anchorage (pulled that number out of my ass, you're welcome), it's pretty damn hot.

Tonight I'm baking lumpia, which if you've never had it is amazing. To the average redneck on the street, he might say,"Damn son. That ain't nothing but one them ol' egg roll from the Chinese place." Like most statements born out of ignorance, this is wrong. Lumpia is far better, in my palette, than an egg roll. There are similarities but the major difference is the wrapper. The lumpia wrapper is more akin to a spring roll but not the same. The majority is filled with seasoned meat, usually pork. Since pork is swine and swine ain't fine in my household, we use beef. The rest of it is filled with cabbage, carrots and other things like garlic or onions. Most of these vary from recipe to recipe. For the most part, I got my recipe from my Dad but like most things I pick up them tend to evolve quite a bit.

So here is my Looks Like Gourmet but is Hastily Thrown Together Lumpia:

Fresh ground beef (or chicken)
Bagged Cole Slaw kit
Minced Garlic
Chopped Onion
Chinese Five Spice
Liquid Smoke
Salt
Soy Sauce
White Pepper (or Black)
Premium Fish Sauce (get the good stuff)
Lumpia Wrappers, thawed (or spring roll wrappers)
Corn Starch

The key to this is getting your meat just right. Ideally it should be a 80/20 ground beef, fresh. Throw this in a frying pan over low heat. You want to brown it but you don't want to get it there in a hurry. Add a some soy sauce, white pepper, salt, a bit of liquid smoke and a small splash of the fish sauce. The fish sauce will stink up your kitchen in a hurry so make sure it's well ventilated and the exhaust fan is on. While this is cooking, use your spatula to chop up the ground beef really fine so it's an even consistency - almost like the beef you'd find in hot dog chilli. You'll want to taste ever so often to make sure it has a good flavor, maybe slightly overpowering.

When the meat is brown but still juicy, drain off most of the grease (but not all) and move to a large mixing bowl to cool for about 15 minutes in the refrigerator. Once cool, add the veggies out of the cole slaw mix (sans any of the mix - we're looking for vegetables only!). Mix this till its an even consistency with your spatula or a spoon. Chop down any pieces of cabbage that are obviously too large. Add the chopped onion and garlic, give it a nice couple dashes of the chinese five spice and a tad bit more of the fish sauce and mix it up well.

Once the above is done, roll up this mixture in the lupia wrappers (same as a burrito). On the very end, take a basting brush and wipe a bit of corn starch and water over the end to help seal it up.

Lay on a baking sheet with a light cover of olive oil. Brush some olive oil over the top of the lumpia. Bake at 375 for 25 minutes or until the tops are slightly brown.

Serve with a dipping sauce or enjoy plain. For a quick, easy dipping sauce, use plain soy sauce with a couple of drops of Sriracha.

TODDLER Team Six

2011-07-18T17:10:00.004-08:00

One of my co-worker's spouse works for a major bank here in Alaska. Apparently, a memo was circulated around about a high security issue that they needed to fix. I was listening in very attentively to this since Anchorage is a rather small place considering and it's always good to know what could be affecting you or your family. I've heard other things about robberies and other criminal type things so I thought this would be equally nefarious.

The high security issue was at one of their branches where three toddlers snuck in and took a shit on the floor.

The whole absurdity of the above statement makes it seem that it was anything but the truth. Without first hand knowledge, I can't confirm this really happened but apparently it did and the email was real.

I can't begin to think how three toddlers adverted security, found a good spot and performed a synchronized defecation without being apprehended. Define a toddler as a one to three year old and the shit, er, plot thickens.

My daughter is smart. There's no doubt about it and it's not parental pride that leads me to this. She can work an iPad, iPhone and an Android O/S (basically anything with a touchscreen). She's not just randomly pressing keys either; she has her apps and games that she likes and she find them and uses them. She is accelerating in signing and speaking and knows how to circumvent mommy and daddy when she wants to do something. However, she is still a toddler and still in diapers. Control of her bodily functions isn't something she's mastered at 1.5 years old. The hoodlums above can only be 1.5 years older than her to fit the APB. Somehow they've been able to coordinate their efforts and their bowl movements while simultaneously moving in and out of a secure area.

They say kids are our future and I agree they will be. But these kids, they don't take shit from anyone. They will rock n' roll at the drop of a diaper. Perhaps SEAL Team Six needs to expand out their operations to surveil the terrorist youth. You've been warned.

Vacation

2011-07-18T00:00:00.000-08:00

My vacation was nice. It wasn't a vacation to anywhere in particular, as is per the norm in my life. Very seldom has that actually happened. Most of my vacations are time off of work spent doing this or that, usually what I call "sanity maintenance". You can't always go off on some whirlwind trip to here or there but you can take some time off and cleanup your mind's desk and sit back and enjoy life for a bit. Take some time to stop and watch life.

I got to spend some time with Sophia, went and saw a glacier, saw a movie (Horrible Bosses), went to the Zoo, grilled out, drank beer, bummed around, wrote some and more. While I didn't get the writing in that I would have liked, it was all a much needed escape from the typical day to day things that contribute in a small way to the stress that piles up.

So now that it's over, I return, somewhat invigorated, to work and the rest of the world. A slave to the grind. Back to the struggle.

Early AM

2011-07-08T07:11:00.002-08:00

I've been moving towards an earlier schedule in the mornings. It's hard to do, of course, since like most people I like to sleep in. But as the years has spun by, I've found a growing tendency to be up earlier instead of staying up later. For most of my life, staying up late was in the vogue thing. The first time I stayed up all night wasn't a good episode in my life. But that didn't stop me. Oh no. Thousands of nights have given way to dawn with me still awake. Now, they don't hold that much of a fascination for me.

I guess you could say that my living in Alaska has changed that some. Especially since you don't really get to experience nighttime during the summer. It's all daylight for the most part. And winter? It's mostly nighttime all the time, except with a couple of inches of ice and snow, which makes things terribly exciting and accident prone.

So yeah, I'm warming up the idea of getting up early and having a head start on the day while so many others are still snoozing. Like right now - it's early and the house is still quiet and I can clack away at the keys with impunity. The clock is still ticking to go to work but I've got my eye on it. But wait, what do I hear? The sounds of moaning and groaning, the sleepers are awakening, which means it's time for me to switch gears and get moving.

I kind of like this. I've read that writing is better in the morning provided that you are awake enough. I guess I'll fall prey to the dangerous world of adult life: early rising, coffee and recliners.

Dangerous.

Ride On

2011-07-05T18:18:00.002-08:00

So today is the second writing session I've tried at home. The first time out was a complete failure, my creativity switch was fused to off and I managed to squeak out about 100 words which for me is like falling at the long jump event - at the very least I can manage that much just showing up. Today was a bit better, around 500. It felt like a let down but the dialogue that I was working on felt forced and contrived and that's just shitty writing.

So lesson learned: go to the library. Maybe I can figure something out here but I'm not going to dedicate much time and energy to it. This is my focus, or at least it's my goal for it to be my focus.

Somedays I feel like I'm an alcoholic when it comes to writing. Being sober is writing and being plastered is me not writing. I feel better letting my fingers skitter across the keys, bringing whatever it is out of me. Even though today it mostly me rambling on in my blog. It's not much for someone to critique but it makes me feel good and feeling good is good enough.

I'm tripping on a transition in my story. It's really not an interesting part of the story and I would leave it all out unless I felt like it needed to be there. But even now as I type this, I feel like I might just chop this whole transition. If it doesn't flow, it's got to go. I'll think more about it. I think this is the only real stumbling block in the story. Everything else is pretty much there - since it came from a dream and all. I'm lucky that my dreams are so intense and long. As long as I can go to sleep, dream and remember, I'll have story fodder for lifetimes.

As far as today goes, I've been groggy and off my game in general both at work and at home. I didn't sleep well last night, waking up at the slightest this or that. I think it was because the weather has gotten warmer and we don't have AC. I don't sleep well when it's hot so I guess that could be it. I feel dehydrated too which has become a more common occurrence. I don't really feel all that thirsty but I have to force myself to drink most times unless I'm having a meal or a snack. Sometimes I'll eat something really dry so I'll be tempted to drink more. Right now I've got a big glass of water sitting here on my desk eyeballing me waiting for me to drink it. More often than not they go to waste. But I like store bought ice so I decided to pick up a bag of the stuff in the hope that I would drink more. Well sort of. Enough of my hydrophobic ramblings - let's get wet.

Ahhh, refreshing.

Well my appointed time for writing tonight is over. Need to figure out what is for dinner - I'm thinking chilli cheese burritos - just like the ones that Taco Bell used to sell but then became assholes and stopped selling them. Rat bastards. That's alright, mine taste better anyway, especially since I found a company here in Anchorage that makes them fresh. The Sophia monster is messing my keyboard so it's time to close up the keyboard.

1617

2011-06-29T01:00:00.000-08:00

1617 words in an hour. I'm not sure how that averages with most writers but I feel pretty good about that. My hands started to hurt after that hour but it was worth it. Although I think I will probably axe a good 300 words from that simply because it was boring writing a scene and if it's boring to me then it probably will be to the reader. Somethings are better left unwritten.

I've used the library as a crutch or training wheels with my motivation. It's helped me focus and drown out all the regular things that have distracted me. In a one bedroom apartment, there's no much room for solitude except under the bed maybe but even there that's filled with stuff. One day I figure I'll have a nice quiet desk in a plain room with no windows on the world, just a place I can step into with my imagination for a little while. Alone with a keyboard and the stories in my head. But for now, the library works.

It's kind of strange that all the people I see in the library aren't reading but sitting somewhere with a laptop surfing the internet. It's more of a quiet hangout spot of sorts. I guess there isn't much wrong with that. I'm using it for about that same purpose. I like being surrounded by all those books though. If I'm there and I'm not writing you can bet your ass I'll be reading something, not idling away checking Facebook or god knows what else.

I've been switching up my days that I go in. It was just Wednesday but after one of those I know I needed more time so now it's Tuesdays and Thursdays. I think after this week, I might try some nights at home to see how it works. I kind of doubt I'll be able to let my fingers fly for 1600 words during that period but it might help get the story moving. Everyday I write I feel closer to the characters but everyday I don't, I feel like I'm losing my hold on the story.

It's come a long way from a rather strange and intense dream but I'm sure I'll have it done. My goal is to have it finished up (2nd draft) before the snow hits. That way I can shop it around to an agent during the winter and enjoy some rejection. Rejection happens, happens all the time. I'm hoping that I'll land someone good and get it published with a really large house. I'd hate for this story to linger on the outskirts of stores, Amazon and the rest of the world.

2 Minute Post

2011-06-28T12:45:00.002-08:00

Can't I post something meaningful in two minutes? Probably not, but I'm doing this anyway.

It's been a classic Alaska summer so far. Some hot days under the belt but most of them have been very cool. I can't complain about this one bit. Without AC, which is the norm here, it doesn't help to have a night where you sleep and end up sweating most of the time.

We had a nice earthquake the other day, somewhere around a 5.5 or something like that. Probably the worst one I've been in that I can recall. Although I'm an earthquake novice of sorts.

So there it is, my two minute post. And I'm out the door.

Blues

2011-06-27T11:02:00.002-08:00

Blues. Blue is supposed to be a tranquil color, that's what a girl told me once in college. It's the color of peace and relaxation.

Bullshit.

Blue is the color of sunny skies, she said, and everything is right with the world. I could see you laying down with your head on a blue pillow.

Right. So what about Picasso's Blue period (keep your head out of the gutter)? That was meant to be his period where he was sad and depressed. Things just weren't quite going his way.

I can see it both ways but today Blue isn't the color of sunny skies and The Sound of Music. Blue is what you feel when you feel you can't do much about your current frustrations. A general sense of helplessness at your fate.

"...and trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring this man's art, and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least."

Good old Shakespeare Sonnet 29 - the only sonnet I ever dared to remember in ye olde high school because it always seemed the most relevant.

So yes, frustration and the apparent lack of my own will and determination to change that - well at least not fast enough. I've run the gauntlet because, while painful, it was the most direct path. Sometimes I've run around like a chicken with my head cut off, no sense of direction. I find that while it's a pain in the nuts to do, I have to have one course and one course only, and to stay with it until it's done.

Momentum

2011-06-24T08:36:00.002-08:00

Hello me. Now that I have momentum, what the fuck are you going to do about? I guess you could do the same things you've done before and pick the fruits before the harvest OR you could go and plant the whole field this time.

I found a nice, quiet place to write and I feel that I shouldn't go back as often as I feel like writing. I should just suck it up, damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead, break on through to the other side, keep on a rocking me baby - full on write.

I think I will.

I feel like I could do this for hours everyday now. My fingers bleed words like a stuck pig (the cliche I hate).

Off to the salt mines to be reborn again afterwards as a gladiator; hail Spartacus!

Finding Your Voice

2011-06-23T09:55:00.002-08:00

Finding your voice can be hard sometimes. You speak up but no one takes interest. You speak up and maybe you are heard. You speak up and somebody laughs. You speak up and you are shunned.

It's not much incentive to voice your mind, let alone open your mouth or your blog to other people. But to express yourself, that primal need to communicate a thought or idea, it's at the very core of who we are. Be it cave paintings of animals from a successful hunt to a status entry on Facebook, you speak up and someone, somewhere, sometime, will hear you.

Speaking up to applause is easy. It's not that common either. I don't know of too many people that can start talking and mesmerize everyone in hearing distance, but I have met a few. I'm not one of these people.

I think sometimes my writers block doesn't come from not having anything to say. I've got plenty of that. I think it comes from a latent fear that people won't understand me or that they won't want to hear what I say. A fear of rejection. The same as love, you want someone to adore and love you; to be rejected is death. Death of that internal creativeness that drives you, defines you.

I'm working my way past it, like zombie shoppers in a grocery store who park their carts in the middle of the isle so no one can get past. Well, I've got to tell you something. I'm worming past. I'm wiggling through that shit. I'm getting to the groceries that they parked that damn cart in front of. There's a whole store full of them. It's daunting. It's got me worried. But you know what? I'm getting by them, one at a time, looking over my shoulder and getting icy looks and hearing asshole comments. And you know what else?

I'm starting to like it.

Witty

2010-07-16T12:31:00.000-08:00

Is there any excuse for not having anything witty to say?

2010-05-27T18:49:00.001-08:00

Appetite

While some things may be in poor taste; appetites vary.

2010-05-27T18:49:00.000-08:00

Korea

Contrary to popular opinion, the local opinion in Korea is... divided.

2010-05-27T18:47:00.000-08:00

Oil

The fishermen in the Gulf should take advantage of the oil slick. Now the seafood comes with it's own oil to fry with.

2010-05-27T18:45:00.000-08:00

Whizdom

What should you do when a women tells you to leave the toilet lid up?

Run.

2010-05-27T18:44:00.000-08:00

Woa

What is the matrix?

A movie.

And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

2010-03-09T12:33:00.002-09:00

And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.
-Friedrich Nietzsche

I find it interesting that when you are very happy that you have, what my brother in law calls "rose colored glasses on". It's true. Things appear differently. You think, act, talk and believe differently. It robs you of parts of your mind and soul or perhaps they lay dormant and sleep. It's only at times when I feel the other end of the spectrum of emotions that these sleepers awaken.

I speculate that having too many parts of your persona, walking around in your mind or heart, wouldn't allow you to focus or concentrate very much. Which in retrospect, is what I feel that happens all to often. Two many of these things are sitting in the living room of my mind, making conversation and small talk, vying for my attention. The more complex something is the more things could go wrong with it. The mind is a vastly complex thing that I've tried to elucidate my thoughts of with many analogies. Some are humorous, other vague, few insightful. Whichever way I delve into my consciousness, I feel I learn something about myself.

Perhaps if I put somethings to sleep for a bit, my creativity muses will awaken and grace me with some quality time.

Education

2010-03-03T12:16:00.002-09:00

A school in Rhode Island has had it's teaching staffed fired for poor performance of it's students. Some would say this is unfair, I say it's a blessing. Our education system has suffered for a long time by employing staff that are more concerned with a paycheck than educated the young. Ask most children what they think of their teachers and the results are not shocking: they hate them.

But all kids hate school, most would cry. There are plenty of people that are turned out by our education system and work as doctors, lawyers, etc., most would go on to say. I say, there are some who want to learn no matter what. To persevere in the face of adversity, these people go above and beyond. What about those whose talents lay in other areas, what about those that need a professional educator? From what I've seen in most educational institutions, of which I spent over 15 years in, the answer is simple: go fuck yourself.

Sure, there are excellent teachers out there, working hard to make a difference because they know that they cannot let the education system fail completely. They have my utmost respect. The teachers who were fired in Rhode Island, your degree apparently wasn't enough to keep your job indefinitely. Some heart and soul is required but you must have not been paying attention during that class or perhaps your teachers were just like you, collecting a paycheck.

Blessed are those who help people think for themselves. Education is too important to leave in the hands of the ignorant.

From Chuck Lorre

2010-02-26T16:22:00.003-09:00

From the desk of the very funny Chuck Lorre (2 and Half Men, Big Bang Theory), one of his censored Vanity Cards (the cards that run after the program is over):

CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #217 (CENSORED)

words that confuse the CBS censor

fecund, penal, taint, titmouse, cockamamie, cockatoo, cocksure, coccyx, ballcock, cockeye, prick, prickly, kumquat, titter, cunning linguist, insertion, gobble, guzzle, swallow, manhole, rimshot, ramrod, come, fallacious, lugubrious, rectify, Uranus, angina, paradiddle, spotted dick, dictum, frock, cunctation, engorge, turgid, stiff, bush, uvula, crapulence, masticate, Dick Butkus, gherkin and, of course, the always bewildering lickety-split.

As you can see, context is everything.

read more here: http://www.chucklorre.com/index.php

Law Abiding Citizen: Revenge makes a comeback

2009-10-26T18:31:00.001-08:00

Law Abiding Citizen: Revenge makes a comeback

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The A Team reboot comes to the big screen

2009-09-20T20:04:00.001-08:00

The A Team reboot comes to the big screen

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Burton's "9" fails to add up

2009-09-12T18:52:00.001-08:00

Burton's "9" fails to add up

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Gamer ends in a draw for Gerard Butler

2009-09-08T18:32:00.001-08:00

Gamer ends in a draw for Gerard Butler

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The hype behind James Cameron's Avatar

2009-09-03T15:13:00.001-08:00

The hype behind James Cameron's Avatar

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District 9: Alien apartheid

2009-08-23T08:47:00.000-08:00

From the ashes of the abandoned Halo movie project, Peter Jackson (Lord of the Rings) and director Neill Blomkamp have created a unique piece of cinema. Combining real world political and social issues with a sci-fi theme and presenting it in a documentary style, District 9 is as compelling as it is unique.

The movie opens with interviews with witnesses and persons of interest in what is revealed as an alien ship that became disabled over modern day Johannesburg, South Africa. In the scenes that follow, a social worker and the protagonist of the film, Wilkus Van De Merwe, is assigned the precarious job of relocating the aliens from the slum, known as District 9, to a new area outside the city. At the time of this assignment, a seemingly united “human” population has segregated the alien refugees from the disabled spacecraft into District 9, where the aliens live in squalor and crime. The plot unfolds as Wilkus finds himself not just a social worker but the key figure in what will end up being the salvation of the aliens, known derogatorily as “prawns”.

Read more of my movie review at Examiner.com

Tarantino’s the good, the bad and the Basterds

2009-08-23T08:46:00.000-08:00

Quentin Tarantino returns to the big screen with his vision of how World War II should have ended: with lots of dialogue, quick to the point action scenes and type cast breaking performances by popular actors. Starring Brad Pitt, Eli Roth and a cast that hail from Germany, Austria and France (where the movie takes place), Inglorious Basterds turns history on its head for the most thrilling, action-comedy this side of the millennium.

Read more of my article on Examiner.com

Summer Time

2009-06-22T16:22:00.002-08:00

Summer time is amongst us here in the Frosty North. Mosquitoes were terrible about 4 weeks ago, have slacked off quite a bit. I've also gotten a case of tendenitis so typing is a bit of a pain. So I've moved my more frequent postings to Twitter (yes, I am on that bandwagon). So it's http://www.twitter.com/akgreenman It's a little easier to remember and since I've got an iPhone, it makes things easier for me and more mobile.

Tendenitis should be better in about 3 weeks - hope to have a better update soon. Cheerios (rice krispy)

Sun Filled Weekend

2009-05-04T14:11:00.003-08:00

It was a sun filled weekend for us as we spent Saturday morning at the Pug Party in downtown Anchorage. After that, the ramblers rambled on to Hatcher's Pass and drove up and down the mountains snapping pictures and letting JingJing have a proper view of snowy mountain tops and whatnot. Our plans for hiking were waylayed by the amount of snow and ice still out and about in the midst of 71 degree weather. It was quite the heat wave for us since we haven't seen this side of 70 in over 6 months or more.

Flip flops and shorts, standard issue uniform for the south, was the dress of the day. Bottled water in check for the bright sunshine and heat. A bit of redness from all the sunlight too. Probably an 18 hour day of sunlight really.

We stopped just shy of Wasilla and hung out with a comrade/friend and enjoyed better part of an hour being showed how rural life in the valley is compared to the relatively civiler life in Anchorage proper. I missed being close to fresh, free flowing water and trees - more so than my humble dwellings.

Yesterday we had a go at the local air show or rather Airman's show. Lots of planes, military & commerical. It was a welcome diversion. Also saw Wolverine which was better than I thought it would be after the critics labasted it. As for the rest of the day, we sat in the sun until 9PM ( a nice full sun even at that time) drinking beer and watching the dogs play.

Breakup

2009-04-17T14:40:00.002-08:00

Breakup is upon the greater Anchorage area. Roads are clearing, skies are brighter for much longer and snow is infrequent. We had about an inch of snow on Sunday night, which looked liked Dippin Dot's ice cream (except they were all white). It cleared out fairly quick though. Right now, most of the streets are ice free and look fairly normally, with the exception of all the gravel. I guess you could say that they are getting close to looking like "Alaska Normal".

In the next week or two I've got to burn up a lot of money on getting my tag switched to Alaska (still haven't done that) since it's about to expire. Getting all my tax money out of that one. Oh, and an emission test - shouldn't be a problem really. Oil & tire change (from studs to regular) too. Will probably need to put the other tires back on in October or there abouts. So I have to replace my nice stand in the living room with one that's about the same size. Oh and need to do the same for Julie too. But that's living here.

I'm really happy that the weather is getting better and the ice is receding. I've been working out on a treadmill while Julie has been doing her boxing training. The highs in the days are a really nice low 40's. It's just fantastic, especially if you are being active outside. When I get off the treadmill I jump outside and it's really nice. We have a sauna but I really haven't used it yet. Can't really think of heat at this point really. Still have plenty of the South left glowing inside of me - might take some more ice and snow to chill all that out.

Daylight has dramatically increased as of late. Just last month it was fairly dark all the time. Now, around 6am, the sun is coming up and generally isn't completed down until 10pm or later. I imagine by the end of the month it will have widened out to encompass much more of the clock's face. It's already difficult to tell when to go to sleep. 10PM looks more like 7PM right now. A late night out on the town will be like a ghost town during the day as we have already seen before. Having a watch is essential and will be more so.

Not much else going on other than that. Of course there is still work and all that it entails. Still trying to find my place amongst all of this. Perhaps I am lax on finding that until summer is officially here (no more ice) since things will change completely after that. New tires, new hours, new places to explore (that were blocked by ice before). I am really looking forward to summer and shedding the yoke of hibernation or so it seems it's been.

And now a joke...

An American, a Japanese and an Irishman.....

Were sitting naked in a sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The American pressed his forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly.

"That was my pager," he said, "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."

A few minutes later a 'phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, " That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."

The Irishman felt decidedly low tech, but not to be outdone he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his a#s. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him.

The Irishman finally said .... "Well, will you look at that, I'm getting a fax!!!"

Eruption

2009-03-23T12:26:00.002-08:00

An eruption has occurred and it's not Eddie Van Halen's famous guitar solo. Mt. Redoubt has gone off but we have no photos or evidence as to what is in store for us. So far, the inhabited parts of Alaska have gotten mild ash. Here in Anchorage however, we've yet to see a single drop of material.

So far, it's not a Pompeii like event. The skies haven't really darkened and the beast with crowns on his multiple heads hasn't crawled out of the ocean like a drunk Marine. Overall, it's been pretty uneventful for actual volcanic activity for us. However, last night I did run our disaster plan. From the time of event until completion of the plan was around two hours. However, from time of notification till completion was under an hour. That's pretty good in my opinion.

After that was done, I ventured over to the local Safeway (Carrs to Alaskans) and waited in line for over an hour to get around 5.5 gallons of water. After unloading that and reading more about the volcano (I wasn't going to sleep until I was sure what I would wake up to), I think I finally crawled into the rack around 3:30 am and probably was asleep at 4 am.

The alarm clock this morning sounded like an emergency klaxon to my ears but I managed to make it to work on time never the less. Outside it was an eerie quiet with not many people on the road. The AF base was on limited duty but the schools are still moving their kids around. So for another four hours or more I'll stay at work and deal with what's turning out to be a light day work wise. Sleep will be the reciepe for success this evening though. As I've been getting over a cold I've managed to pick up what probably is an ear infection.

When it rains it pours, and sometimes other things.

Day in the Life?

2009-02-25T12:15:00.003-09:00

So what's a day in the life of an Alaskan like? I say there is a difference between a summer life and a winter life. Since, I've only been here for the winter mostly, I'll give a brief description of the later.

1) Weather. Everything here revolves around the weather. From the time you get up, till the time you got to sleep, weather dominates your schedule. If it's really cold in the morning (0 or below), then you'll need a head start on the day to get your vehicle warmed up. You might even have to dig it out of the snow or whatnot. Getting to your morning place of business (or home) might even be delayed or completely stopped due to the weather. Might even have to leave early due to road conditions. So yeah, weather will make you it's bitch.

2) Alcohol. If you are in Alaska, it's a good bet that you are a drinker. And if you are a drinker, chances are your imbibery will increase. Alaskans love their beer, almost as much as Australians do. We probably have more liquor stores per square mile of city/town/village than anywhere else in the world. Add bars to the equation and you could get your drink on just about anywhere you can find electricity. Being from the south, I've never seen so many breweries is such a small area. Unfortunately, I prefer a lager and am not to keen on stouts, i.e. milkshakes, which the latter dominates the area. However, a good stout does you well here in the cold, whereas in the South it more apt to slow you down or make you sick when drank in the intense heat.

3) Coffee. Yes, being so close to the home of Starbucks makes for some interesting choices in the beans drink war. You can slip and fall into a cup of coffee just about anywhere. Coffee is right next to the first aid kit when it comes to emergencies. Everyone drinks coffee, at least when they aren't drinking beer.

4) Wildlife. If you travel out of your door, most likely you will encounter a rather large four legged animal that you will have to yield to. And yes, the effect usually never wears off. No matter how many you see, they are still worth writing home about.

I've probably listed some of these things here before but in conversations where people ask me, "How's Alaska?", the above topics ususally are part of my answer.

Sure, I could talk about how many times I've busted my ass on the ice or all the fun I had scrapping my windows off with my hockey gloves on but I won't go for much of that. I could mention all the 360's I cut in the parking lot or the sliding that I do leaving the house in my car, fishtailing left and right. I could also tell you that I enjoy that stuff, but I deny it (for legal purposes).

Yes, winter it's a cabin fever sort of thing. Luckily Anchorage has lots to do but in today's economy, a warm home is one of the best things you can be thankful for having.

Dangerous Times

2009-02-17T15:23:00.002-09:00

The latest from the Anchorage Daily News is that a routine traffic stop find four pipe bombs on two individuals early this morning around 3AM. Apparently, officials are waiting for a search warrant for their residence so they can send the bomb squad through to look for other such devices.

Pipe bombs are generally low tech explosives and can be produced rather easily. Due to the low tech nature of the explosives, one can speculate that these were probably going to use a fuse type detonator. This most likely means that the intention was that the suspects were going to get up close and personal with whatever target(s) they were going to use them on. This is based off the assumption that the suspects are guilty of what is probably another assault on the population in general, ala Columbine, Virgina Tech and other tragedies.

Thankfully, the report doesn't mention any kind of remote detonation materials found, such as what they deal with in Iraq with IED's and whatnot. While all of these types of events should be avoided, the remote ones could be a far worse possibility.

Without much thought, I have never thought of Alaska as a place where incidents of this type would happen. It's not a naive notion; people are capable of far worse evils. But Alaska has a air of peace and tranquility to it, covering the wild, primal interior of it all. These sorts of problems are for other cities in other places in the country but apparently not.

It must be a sign of the times. Recession worries and the domino effect that ripples out of that huge stone thrown in the lake of the world - somethings are going to change. And it doesn't look like they are all going to be good.

Stay safe, stay out of trouble, respect one another and, as Dishonest Abe Lincoln once said:

"PARTY ON DUDES!"

Indeed, perhaps the secret to happiness.

To Beard or Not to Beard

2009-02-15T15:15:00.005-09:00

I grew a beard probably a year before I made it to Alaska and for good reason, the cold will sap the warmth from your face rather quickly and a good beard keeps that heat in (and moisture too - another problem here). So for those that can grow one, a beard takes very little maintenance, a clip here, a trim there and you are in good shape. Or if you prefer the Grizzly Adams look, you can just say to hell with all of that and let it grow. Beware you might be cast as an extra in a caveman movie.

Of course there are some negative side affect, in particular the massive amounts of static electricity that one can generate. My beard isn't as full as others, probably due to the American Indian ancestry that I have, however, one of my co workers has quite a bit of italian in his blood and his beard is rather thick. He generates enough electricity that he causes computers to turn off or flash as he goes by them. Touch him and you'll see a spark and feel the pain. Snap, crackle, pop.

He recently had to shave off his beard for a court date he had (positive legalese) and with it his Raiden like powers were gone. Sure he has some electricity to him but not the massive capacitor threshold he used to.

So if you know of someone that has static electricity problems in winter, let them know that their hair/beard is most likely the culprit. Or if you have to press the flesh often and are tired of it, perhaps a nice thick beard could deter people from shaking your hand so often.

Alaska Duct Tape (Quick Post)

2009-02-10T12:23:00.002-09:00

I read a news article about Wasilla, Alaska's Wal-mart, where they sell over 8,000 rolls of duct tape in a year. Apparently, this is a record amongst Wal-Mart. While the uses of duct tape are numerous, apparently in snowmachine racing it's required equipment. Read the article over at adn.com.

Update for Friday, February 6th

2009-02-06T19:11:00.002-09:00

Here in Anchorage, it's another Friday. A warm Friday that is, with temp's in the mid 20's scheduled for most of the weekend. Today was rather nice with no snow, clear skies and a warm sun. It almost reminds you of summer, even though it's still winter.

We were in the gym on Wednesday and found that on most cold nights the gym is a popular place. I have to wonder whether or not it's like this in the summer when there are so many outdoor activities to get into. As it is, we have to make our way through the crowds in the flesh museum. We are signed up at a place called Planet Fitness, which is a national chain place with at least three locations here in Anchorage. For around $20 a month you get to workout in a "judgment free zone", with unlimited visits, unlimited tanning, massage chairs, and ultra modern equipment and lots of it. You'd be hard pressed to find a place where you could tan unlimited for less than $40 a month in most places. While it's not the Alaska Club with it's icing on the cake amenities, you can get your workout in a clean and properly maintenanced facility without being intimidated by muscle bound cretins growling and grunting and talking smack. Take a look at them online: http://www.planetfitness.com/ The best buy with them is the Black Card in which you have unlimited guest passes, which in today's economy can provide an awesome value for a family of two.

Speaking of which, we are skipping the gym tonight due to the large crowds at our location on Friday nights. Thanks to a handy schedule that show the average visits for what times, we are going to make our visit tomorrow morning or perhaps late tonight (since they are open 24 hrs a day - except on Sundays). Tonight it's going to be a cozy evening inside doing taxes and other odds and ends.

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TAKEN - A Review

The other night we watched Luc Beson's new movie staring Liam Neeson, called "Taken". Apparently, this came out in France first, which shouldn't be a shock since Beson is French. The movie is the standard plot of bad guys kidnapping an ex (insert special military unit) member's daughter and he goes on a killing spree to save her before death/disapperance/end of the world happens. Even knowing this by the previews, Neeson shows an intesity and calmness that makes you believe that he is one of those types of guys and this is really his daughter. Due to the Terminator like efficiency in which he goes after his villians you could subtitle this movie: "Taken: I Really Don't Give a Fuck and Will Kill Anyone To Get My Daughter Back". In some places I found myself cheering for him as he dispatched whomever it took rather like a mother bear looking after her cubs. The PG-13 rating however was a bit mistifying to me however with the language and violence. I can only speculate that the lack of T&A, usually part of the formula of most of these movies, was the reason how Besson managed to finagle the ratings board into a more friendly and profitable rating.

In the end, Taken is a good modern rehash of a familiar plot with excellent acting from Neeson who hasn't had much going on since his Star Wars days. I couldn't help but to feel as though this was made for a foreign market and was only released in theaters domestically as an afterthought. While it succeeds at winning hearts and minds through it's duration, it fails at enduring after the credits have rolled. It's a must watch for Star Wars fans who want to see Qui Gon Jin go off but don't go looking for any real sustance here. If Besson wants to win American audiences over, wait until you create a sequel to The Fifth Element or similar.

Two out of Five Stars. A good romp that ends quickly.

"Gran Torino" - A Review

2009-02-05T17:46:00.001-09:00

Clint Eastwood's "Gran Torino", looked a whole lot like art house fodder to me when I first saw a preview for it. I thought to myself, here's Clint's last movie and it'll be limited release. It won't be exciting or entertaining. He'll blow all of his creativeness on one final huzzah. But the more I read about this film, the more I wanted to watch it.

I recall watching the trailers for "Million Dollar Baby" and I thought basically the same thing. I don't have much of a like for Hillary Swank and a boxing movie, other than Rocky, just wouldn't be my thing. I was wrong. Million Dollar Baby was worth it's weight in gold. The ending was unexpected, which says a lot for Hollywood's lack of creative writing, and I was floored by the acting, even with Ms. Swank. So armed with such bravado as Clint's former film, I decided that Gran Torino was worth giving a shot.

The movie unfolds as an aging Marine veteran says goodbye to recently deceased wife and says hello to a new life, one where he is alone and purposedly alienated from his family and the rest of the world and for good reason. His family treats him as if he is on his deathbed and is already dividing up his possessions. The street on which he lives has changed into a ghetto. Gang violence is subverting his neighborhood. Amongst his anger and frustration, his young Korean neighbor tries to steal his remaining joy: a 1972 Gran Torino Sport (which he built himself during his previous career in Detroit). One would think that this would be the spark that ignites the powder keg of Eastwood's situation however the boy, and his family, apologizes and insists that the boy work of his "debt" to him.

Eastwood's character echoes a previous one from "Heartbreak Ridge". The ex-Marine, gung-ho mentality was there, the soft parts just peeking through the swearing, tough love examples of fire and determination, so much so that at many times I had to remind myself that this wasn't a sequel. Perhaps at the heart of the film, Eastwood felt that the Gunny Highway character was worth exploring from a different angel. Perhaps, but whatever the reason, I felt close to this character. I saw similarities in this older veteran and my own, older father. The complexity of the role was something most military families could easily grasp.

While the movie has several scenes that include bigotry and foul language, the context in which it is used can evoke mixed feelings for most but certainly not to a level where you are disgusted with the film. Overall, these things do more to solidify the points of the movie than to detract from it. For example, when Eastwood's character asks his Korean neighbor for, "another beer, DragonLady" it smacks of bigotry. However, in the scene, he is a welcome guest of honor who has, begrudgingly accepted their hospitality.

I am hesitant to say that this is an unforgettable movie but it is just that: unforgettable. If you walk away from this movie with only a couple of laughs, then good. If you walk away from this movie with pause and consideration for the characters plights as well as your own, so much the better. If Clint Eastwood walks away from Hollywood with this as his final project, it will be unforgettable.

Four out of Five Stars.

Doubting the Redoubt Volcano

2009-02-01T21:40:00.002-09:00

The waxing and waning of a volcano is an unusual thing for a Southern Man. It's like a football team that you cheer or jeer against to stem the tide of... well whatever. And after the excitement wears off, your left with waiting the rest of the season out wondering if you'll see them crash and burn or take all the marbles. Football analogies aside, there's been no eruption of Mt. Redoubt yet. I'd love to stress yet, however who's to say if it will happen (the eruption).

Anchorage is currently participating in negative degree weather at the moment which is sort of nice. If it were close to 30 degrees, you've have hell on the streets in the form of ice and out of control vehicles and pedestrians. If we can throw in a ash fallout we may just have a Perfect [insert disaster] type of situation, worthy of George Clooney type proportions. Mass pandemonium, cats and dogs living together - complete chaos. Well, maybe not to that extent but there will be at least enough traffic accidents to make sure the Anchorage PD are no longer accepting orders for the next 12 hours or so.

Speaking of not taking orders for hours, Wings and Things opened up again here in Anchroage. After a departure that could only be considered ghost like, the new Wings and Things was ressurected on Friday. With lines that went outside into a blizzard starting before 9am till well after they closed, it's a fair shake to say that this is one restaurant in the hot, not mild, commodity of Anchorage restaurants. I was at business on Friday and found that the Coke delivery trucks had to make two stops that day. The second time out there were two trucks there, orders flying left and right and no letting up on the food. You could say that you would have to have wings to stay above everything going on. Too bad they didn't predict the kind of turn out they had else everyone who wanted wings could have had some. Maybe after a week the line will slow down some. It's little suprise that people are making their way to Wings and Things, especially after aquiring the original reciepes and most of the original staff.

From what I hear, any new place opening in Anchorage gets flooded it's first week out. Hardly. From the front page of www.adn.com to the end of the line, it seems this is one place Anchoragites believe is like no other. Personally, I'd like to see more doughnut places open. Dunkin Donuts? Krispy Kreme? Come on, with all the coffee going on it seems strange that there isn't a high profile Doughnut place open. Especially one that stays open longer than four hours a day. Can Anchorage really resist the "Hot and Fresh" sign glowing red in a Krispy Kreme? A good power ring sure beats hot wings in my book any day.

Smoke Rising from Mt. Redoubt

2009-01-30T11:42:00.004-09:00

It's probably steam in this case but smoke sounds rather ominous in this case.

For most of Anchorage, people are taking it all in stride. For the Greenman household however, it's similar to a hurricane. Omit the rain and high winds, insert ash and you've got the same kind of disaster situation we used to get several times a year on the Gulf Coast.

We went to the local Sam's down by the Dimond Center here, and loaded up on bottled water, non perishables and other things that one needs during a possible forced stay inside without power and utlitlies for several days. We couldn't locate any face masks however so we'll do the best with what we have.

Our apartment complex manager provided us with a good direction sheet on what to expect and what you can do to prepare. You can find it here at: http://www.ak-prepared.com/plans/acrobat_docs/Ash%20Alert.pdf For those of you in Anchorage, please be prepared.

It's difficult to say at this point whether or not when Redoubt does erupt whether or not the Anchorage area will get ash or how much. Like a hurricane, there are several predicitions for the path of ash as it gets blown across the valley. Several conditions, mainly wind and what elevation the ash achieves, will be the deciding factor on the fallout.

At work, we've developed a plan of sorts to take care of the equipment here and how we will react if and when something happens. I'm unsure of the other business here but from what I've seen there isn't much going on business wise. Most likely the recession is the big thing going on in people's minds. Although it hasn't hit Alaska like the rest of the lower 48, there are signs of it rearing it's ugly head.

Supply wise Anchorage appears to be in good shape. Water and food hasn't made a mass exodus into people's homes just yet - very much unlike what you would see on the Southern Gulf Coast during hurricanes. In that area, there are lines around the corner to get into supermarkets. Generally, water and bread go quick, followed by milk, butter and eggs with the rest of the store following suit. Here, it appears that the big thing is face masks, which in retrospect, should be a priority for everyone here. We have not, as of today, been able to acquire any. Hopefully, we will be able to before an eruption.

The one odd thing about being under threat of a volcano, in comparison to a hurricane, is the fact that you know that at some point, it will be over. Generally you can tell when it will make landfall and ruin your evening/day/week/life. Here it's a be prepared and try to go about your life, sort of.

I'm not Tommy Lee Jones or Pierce Brosnon and I'm not thinking this is Dante's Peak, Volcano or whatever other Hollywood movie. I'm not going to drive to the mountain or go lollygag around out in the woods far from shelter. But on the same token, I'll find that whatever happens, it will be an interesting experience.

It's gonna blow... VOLCANO!

2009-01-27T12:28:00.003-09:00

Well perhaps we'll have an volcanic explosion. Mt. Redoubt is generating a warning with the powers that be over at the Geo Service. Apparently the earthquake we had here in Anchorage on Saturday was a bit of that mountain grumbling. Which was my first earthquake, at least that I can recall (I did live in California for a couple of years).

All things considered, it's been an eventful year for this southern transplant and a volcanic eruption would be another thing to mark on my blackboard of things experienced. While it very well could be dangerous to the Anchorage area from the fallout, Alaska in general will probably do fine as well as I will I'm sure. Being a Boy Scout for so many years, I take a certain amount of pride and even excitement in preparing for things of this nature. A bit sick isn't it?

So perhaps this weekend I will have yet another thing to wipe off of my windshield besides ice and snow. In the south I had bugs and rain to deal with. By the end of this year I'll have dealt with no less than four things I'm sure. A wiper of glass is what I am.

That being said, we are predicted to have lows of 0 - 15 degrees. I wonder how a volcano would affect all of that? I would imagine at first it would get colder because of less light caused by the amount of ash thrown into the atmosphere however that could create a greenhouse like effect. Oh well, either way it's probably a good idea to get some pantyhose. Right, panythose. I read this is a good think to have in an Alaska survival kit. Not only for your face to filter out the ash but as well as your air intake on your vehicle.

Let's hope I don't have to use it.

Anchorage Weather Update

2009-01-15T11:55:00.000-09:00

Yesterday morning we woke up to a rather warm set of balmy weather. There was water dripping from the eaves of the apartment. Making my way to my truck produced a couple of slips and slides, nothing that culminated in a fall. The way to work was like a funeral procession. Cars were moving slow but somewhat steady through the ice rink like streets. It took me an extra ten minutes to get to work, something that usually takes me only seven minutes.

After getting to work, I found out that between midnight and 8am there were over 100 vehicles in distress (in the ditch or snowbank) and over 60 accidents on the streets of Anchorage. That's makes it quite a morning.

Today was a little bit better. The streets were bumpy with ice on parts of the street, water on the others parts. Side streets, parking lots and sidewalks were glazed over so much that it was walk and fall conditions. If you could find ice that had gravel frozen in it you were better off than most though. With the storm drains frozen there is plenty of water on the streets. It really reminds me of a hurricane aftermath on the Gulf Coast.

Overall, the weather feels great as long as you're not out moving around in it. And that's a damn shame after the negative weather we've had.

Personally, I'm looking forward to some more cold weather. I'd rather have it be consistant than in a state of flux. Out here by the airport, our apartment complex's driveway is still a hockey rink, hockey played with cars.

Time for Suntan Lotion

2009-01-12T13:11:00.000-09:00

Woke up this morning to a blistering hot 14 degrees! Compared to the negative twenties that we've had this previous month, I feel like I'm at the beach. Well sorta. Not really.

The point is there is a vast difference. When you get acclimated to negative degree weather, this sort of warm spell (now it's in the 20's) doesn't really spell out relief in so much as it spells out: watch out! You see, we've enjoyed the roads being somewhat predictable. While it's not super kosher to drive on, it's manageable. But what happens when it warms up? Slush and unknown conditions that turns roads into a skating rink once it drops down to 32. So yes, watch out. This warm weather isn't all that you'd like.

The warmer weather is more apt to bring snow, at least here in Anchorage. We've been without for most of the month so far and are now predicted with more. At least my truck starts a lot better and doesn't take 30+ minutes to warm up. I wore a vest to work today and short sleeved shirt. That's a plus. No more bulky parka, well at least for the in and out's at least.

Yesterday the crew and I went to see The Goonies at the Bear Tooth Pub and Movie Theater here in Anchorage. It's one of those unique places where you can have a great meal, fancy or regular, or have a seat in cheap movie and drink micro brew beer and have your meal with said movie. While the movies are only three dollars each, more for a booth, the food is not so cheap. It varies with what you get. Typical prices for typical movie theater fare, more elevated prices for others. Depending on the showing, your food may take longer to get to you. Yesterday's showing was packed so the food took a little longer than I expected but was still tasty. Overall, $3 movies are a great buy and packed with good food, it's the way to go.

Bear Tooth doesn't show first run movies, so you're not going to see opening day runs or the like. Most of these have just about finished their run in the theaters and are on their way to home video soon. However, I have noticed that they get a lot of art house type movies that normal theaters wouldn't be willing to play or just never get around to. The rare one's that you might hear about but never see on other billboards. Perhaps Bear Tooth is like an art house cinema. Could be I suppose, you'd have to form your own opinon about that one. It's a unique blend of things that every movie theater should be or should at least offer.

For more information go to: http://www.beartooththeatre.net
or visit them in person at:

Beartooth Theatre Pub & Grill

1230 W 27th Ave
Anchorage, AK 99503
(907) 276-4200

In Defense of Nosehairs

2009-01-07T22:01:00.001-09:00

I have to come to the defense of nosehairs. Taken for granted under normal circumstances, they are a nuisance. Nay, a menace. After cutting them you enjoy a couple of weeks of well groomed splendor. You could even be lulled into a sense of impeccability. Then, after a hot date or perhaps an important business meeting, you go home to notice a stray hair dangling from a nostril as if fishing for something (most likely an odd stare or worse... rejection). There is usually little warning for their misdeeds.

In Alaska however, this menance comes to the rescue. As its currently been here in Anchorage, the negative double digit temperatures play havoc on your life. First it's your clothes, lots and lots of clothes. Next, it's your car. No remote car starter? You've got a new baby to take care of and it wants to be warmed up for over twenty minutes before you play with it. And last but not least, well, just take a breath.

Open the door to your apartment or whatever portal takes you outside, pause and then suck in a breath. Oh don't mind me, I'll give you a minute to cough a bit. There there now, are you used to it? Good. I'll continue.

That itching burning sensation as you gulp down that first bit of air is your lungs crying out to their landlord that you've done it wrong. If you do it the other way, breath through the nose, it will be a little kinder on your lungs. But you'll notice an odd thing though, if your a manly man, those nose hairs will tend to freeze and grow thick. The air doesn't flow quite as fast but your lungs aren't screaming as much. They may even start to like you again.

But don't get too close to your new noisehair guru buddies just yet. It appears as though they are meant for a purpose. Filter out dirt? Check. Warm up the air you breath in? Right-o. Prevent you from gaining a runny nose? Negative ghost rider.

While the cheeky bastards help out some on the warmth, your nose will still run like a prize race horse in the cold. Well, those hairs aren't good looking anyways. Not that I would braid them and try to be a new age Willie Nelson mind you. But I won't be hating on them as I have been before either.